Motivation ...

Convincing your kids to do the things they dont want to do is very difficult and to stop them doing the things you dont want them to do is all the more challenging, so whats the solution ? How to make the changes ???

The Answer is Motivation

Keep them Motivated for the things you want them to do and ignore the things you dont want.

To keep them motivated REWARDS can be used, so everytime they do something good, they should be rewarded accordingly. 

My Friend Sneha tried this technique on her 2 yrs old daughter Diya, whenever Diya would finish her breakfast she was rewarded with her favourite candy, and when she will partially eat her breakfast, Sneha would give her a smallest bite of the candy so this way she realised that in order get the whole Candy she needs to finish her breakfast. 

Same ways one of my clients son had a habit of banging spoon or any other cutlery on the glass table, she used to get scared of this and would start shouting and pleading to her son, to not do this as this may hurt him. this had become a daily routine during dinner time, now i told her to stop reacting on the scenario, let him do it and completely ignore it. First day when she ignored it, her son got bit curious, banged the cutlery a little more louder but when he dint got any reaction from his mother, he got confused and stopped it. For next few days he tried doing it but whn got no reaction, eventually he completely stopped this behaviour.

So in this scenario his motivation was his mom's reaction which he was enjoying thoroughly, which later we removed completely and that led to fading of his this unwanted behaviour.

So while deciding the reward we also need to know what works best for your kid. Rewards need not have to be materialistic thing, it can be in form of appreciation, a simple smile, may be a high five, one warm hug from mom, candy, one game with parents or anything. But we need to find a right reward.

With grown up kids the motivation can be kept high by having a good one to one talk, to make them explain why or why not thy should do this, the pros and cons of the situation, the social impact, the personal impact etc.

Motivation is the drive behind an action you take. So being parents its our responsibility to find what gives kids the drive to do the things ?

Often its the prospect of succeeding or atleast improving so you can succeed. The more kids feel competent, the more likely they will enjoy the activity and want to get better in it. Success builds motivation and leads to more success.

Help them feel successful  : Success doesnt come only at the end of project, a good start or a good effort is also a success so help them to start, celebrate their success so that they feel more motivated to carry on with the task. Even if the effort put in by your child goes waste, dont let them feel down because of this, celebrate that atleast they tried. 

No matter how your child does, find something you can say thats positive and also true.

Its not always easy to find motivation, but the payoffs can be huge, so discover ways to keep them motivated and learn to give praise that can build self esteeem.